The Way of the Warrior
Odo: Can I help you?
Drex: (Some Klingon insult)
Garak: Actually, I'm not sure Constable Odo has a mother.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-OdosMother.mp3 (148 kB)

Odo: I didn't know you spoke Klingon.
Garak: Oh, you'd be surprised at the things you can learn when you're doing alterations.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Klingon.mp3 (87 kB)

Garak: Well, let me guess. You're either lost, or desperately searching for a good tailor.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Lost.mp3 (92 kB)

Bashir: I can't believe you're not pressing charges.
Garak: Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed a similar concern, but really doctor, there was no harm done.
Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavical.
Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
Bashir: Garak, this isn't funny.
Garak: I'm serious, doctor! Thanks to your administrations I'm almost completely healed, but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Lifetime.mp3 (422 kB)

Sisko: Mr. Garak, I'd like to see you in the wardroom immediately. Bring your tailor's kit.
Dax: Altogether, we're talking about well over a hundred ships just in the first wave.
Garak: Excuse me. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Sisko: I'd like to be measured for a new suit.
Garak: Now?
Sisko: Right now.
Garak: But captain, I do have your measurements.
Sisko: Take them again. You were saying, commander?
Dax: I was saying that between ground forces and warships, the Klingons have commited almost a third of their military to this invasion.
Sisko: How long before they reach their target?
Worf: According to our estimates the task force should enter Cardassian space within the hour.
Sisko: Don't forget the waist, I think I've lost a little weight.
Garak: Well, thank you captain. I believe I have everything I need.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Wardroom.mp3 (703 kB)

Garak: Might I trouble you for a glass of canar?
Quark: Help yourself. It's on the house.
Garak: How uncharacteristically generous of you.
Quark: I'm in an uncharacteristic mood. Besides, I've got eighty cases of the stuff sitting in my stockroom and the way things are going I'll never unload another bottle, unless it's to you.
Garak: How thoughtless of me not to consider the effect the destruction of my homeworld would have on your business. These must be trying times for you. Be brave!
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Canar.mp3 (473 kB)

Quark: I want you to try something for me. Take a sip of this.
Garak: What is it?
Quark: A human drink. It's called root beer.
Garak: Er...I don't know...
Quark: Come on. Aren't you just a little bit curious?
(Garak reluctantly takes a sip.)
Quark: What do you think?
Garak: It's vile!
Quark: I know. It's so bubbly and cloy and happy.
Garak: Just like the Federation.
Quark: But do you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.
Garak: It's insidious.
Quark: Just like the Federation.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-RootBeer.mp3 (664 kB)

Garak: I find this hand-to-hand combat really quite distasteful.
Dukat: I suppose you prefer the simplicity of an interrogation chamber.
Garak: You have to admit: it's much more civilised.
TheWayOfTheWarrior-Civilised.mp3 (164 kB)

Our Man Bashir
Garak: If I were in your shoes I'd grab a bottle of champagne and shoot me.
OurManBashir-Champagne.mp3 (81 kB)

Bashir: I work for one of the nation states of this era, Great Britain, which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War. This apartment, my clothes, weapons, even my valet were provided to me by my government.
Garak: I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.
OurManBashir-WrongService.mp3 (243 kB)

Garak: Another decorator's nightmare. This era had a distinct lack of taste.
OurManBashir-LackOfTaste.mp3 (103 kB)

Garak: I don't know if I've made this explicit to you or not, doctor, but I really don't want to die chained to a 20th century laser.
OurManBashir-20thCenturyLaser.mp3 (126 kB)

Bashir: You know, your hair would look so much better if it were free.
Garak: I must say doctor, this is more than I ever wanted to know about your fantasy life.
OurManBashir-FantasyLife.mp3 (179 kB)

Garak: Kiss the girl, get the key. They never taught me that in the Obsidian Order.
OurManBashir-KissTheGirl.mp3 (33 kB)

Garak: It's time to face reality, doctor. You're a man who dreams of being a hero because you know, deep down, that you're not.
OurManBashir-Hero.mp3 (149 kB)

Garak: Computer, show me the mechanism...
(Bashir shoots Garak)
Bashir: You'll be fine. It's just a flesh wound.
Garak: That was awfully close. What if you'd killed me?
Bashir: What makes you think I wasn't trying?
Garak: Doctor, I do believe there's hope for you yet.
OurManBashir-Hope.mp3 (429 kB)

Garak: Interesting, you saved the day by destroying the world.
Bashir: I bet they didn't teach you that in the Obsidian Order.
Garak: No. No, there was a great deal they didn't teach me. Like the value of a good game of chance, or how indulding in fantasy keeps the mind creative.
OurManBashir-SavedTheDay.mp3 (351 kB)

Shattered Mirror
Mirror Garak: I was merely observing that, as one of many officers under the Intendant's command, it would be an overstatement to imply that I alone was responsible for our defeat.
Regent Worf: But you are the only officer who managed to escape!
Mirror Garak: Perhaps I should have surrendered to the rebels, grovelling on the floor begging for my life, like the Intendant?
Regent Worf: You are attempting to shift the blame away from yourself!
Mirror Garak: Am I succeeding?
ShatteredMirror-Blame.mp3 (422 kB)

Mirror Garak: The Intendant was bad enough. She was irrational, accusatory, unappreciative, but at least...
Regent Worf: At least... what?
Mirror Garak: At least I was able to please her now and then.
Regent Worf: You are not my type.
Mirror Garak: I never said I was.
ShatteredMirror-Please.mp3 (539 kB)

Mirror Garak: You've searched me three times already. Where could I possibly be hiding it?
Regent Worf: Perhaps you swallowed it!
Mirror Garak: Impossible! I'm very particular about what I eat!
ShatteredMirror-WhatIEat.mp3 (169 kB)

Regent Worf: Then you can spend the rest of your life contemplating your failure as you labour alongside the other slaves in the ore processing center.
Mirror Garak: It's nice to have something to look forward to.
ShatteredMirror-LookForward.mp3 (164 kB)

Mirror Garak: Forgive me, my Regent, but perhaps the moment has arrived to remove your august presence from the battle field.
Regent Worf: You mean retreat!
Mirror Garak: I hope I'm not out of line.
ShatteredMirror-August.mp3 (157 kB)

For the Cause
Garak: I simply thought it would be polite to say hello, but clearly you don't think I'm capable of conducting any kind of pleasant discourse without some kind of nefarious alterior motive.
Bashir: That's not what I meant. I just think you should leave well enough alone. Why stir up...
Garak: YES!!! Well played! Well done, Major!
Bashir: What happened?
Garak: A brilliant move on the part of the Major. You should have been paying attention.
ForTheCause-SayHello.mp3 (422 kB)

Garak: You're not going to hurt me, are you? Normally I would simply make a strategic withdrawal at the first sign of trouble, but there doesn't seem to be a way out of here.
Ziyal: You could always call security.
Garak: True, but it would take them a few minutes to arrive and by then it might be too late.
Ziyal: I don't think I'll hurt you.
Garak: I'm gratified to hear that.
Ziyal: In fact, I think it's safe to say you have nothing to fear from me.
Garak: And you, my dear, have nothing to fear from me.
ForTheCause-NothingToFear.mp3 (625 kB)

Garak: Ah, what can I do for you, Major?
Kira: Listen closely: I don't know what kind of sick game it is you're playing with Ziyal, but it better stop and it better stop right now.
Garak: I can assure you, Major, I have n...
Kira: I don't want to hear any of your lies. Now that girl is here under my protection and I swear, if you do anything to hurt her I will make you regret it. Is that clear?
Garak: As Tibalian glass.
Kira: Good.
ForTheCause-Clear.mp3 (351 kB)

Garak: I was going to cancel. I've had visions of Ziyal presenting my head to her father as a birthday gift.
Quark: That's a little paranoid, wouldn't you say?
Garak: Paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life.
ForTheCause-Paranoid.mp3 (245 kB)

Ziyal: Kira and my father both told me that you used to be an agent of the Obsidian Order. That you had my grandfather tortured and killed and that you could easily kill me without a second thought.
Garak: Although I seldom credit the Major or your father with being entirely trustworthy in this case...they're both telling the truth.
ForTheCause-Grandfather.mp3 (355 kB)

Body Parts
Garak: If you try the trousers on first you'll see I've added some extra padding to the seat which should make swivelling on your barstool much more comfortable.
BodyParts-Barstool.mp3 (163 kB)

Quark: You weren't always a tailor.
Garak: You're right. I used to be gardener. Now if you have something you want weeded, you let me know.
BodyParts-Weeded.mp3 (133 kB)

Garak: We're running out of options, Quark. You don't want to be vaporized because you need a body, the disruptor ruined your clothing, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long and poison...What was wrong with poison?
BodyParts-Poison.mp3 (221 kB)

Quark: Could you get rid of this? The sight of it is making me sick.
Garak: Computer, remove corpse. For a man who wants to kill himself you're strangely determined to live.
BodyParts-RemoveCorpse.mp3 (142 kB)

Broken Link
Odo: The next time you call me it had better be to report a crime.
Garak: Now that you mention it, I've just witnessed a crime. Letting Aroya walk out of here without arranging a date: you should be locked away for that.
Odo: You humanoids, you're all obsessed with these convoluted mating rituals.
Garak: True, but do you think we'd waste so much time on something that wasn't worth while? I'll never understand you. You're such a sensitive man, yet there are so many aspects of humanoid life that you simply refuse to explore.
Odo: I have no desire to become a slave to humanoid obsessions.
Garak: But you have to admit... she is quite lovely.
BrokenLink-MatingRituals.mp3 (634 kB)

Garak: Personally, I think Starfleet should allow their officers more latitude in accessorizing their uniforms. You'd be surprised what a nice scarf can do.
BrokenLink-Accessorizing.mp3 (149 kB)

Garak: But where you offer kindness, I offer mystery. Where you offer sympathy, I offer intrigue. Just give me a seat next to Odo's bed and I promise you I'll conjure up enough innuendos, half-truths and bald-faced lies about my so-called career in the Obsidian Order to keep the Constable distracted for days. If there's one thing Cardassians excel at it's conversation.
BrokenLink-Conversation.mp3 (149 kB)

Garak: Excuse me, madame, may I have a moment of your time?
Founder Leader: You are a Cardassian!
Garak: That's right. And on behalf of my people I'd like to learn if there were any survivors after our attack on your homeland.
Founder Leader: Cardassian survivors?
Garak: Yes.
Founder Leader: There were no Cardassian survivors.
Garak: You mean...they're all dead?
Founder Leader: They're dead. You're dead. Cardassia is dead. Your people were doomed the moment they attacked us. I believe that answers your question.
Garak: It was a pleasure meeting you.
BrokenLink-Dead.mp3 (617 kB)

Worf: Garak! Just as I thought!
Garak: Don't tell me: I overlooked one of the security monitors.
Worf: You were trying to override the launch controls for the quantum torpedoes.
Garak: I was hoping to gain control of the phasers as well, I just hadn't got around to it yet.
BrokenLink-Override.mp3 (213 kB)

Worf: And what about Odo? And Captain Sisko and Doctor Bashir?
Garak: They'll die. And once the Jem'Hadar ships realize what we're doing so will we. But what are our lives compared to saving the entire Alpha Quadrant?
BrokenLink-OurLives.mp3 (213 kB)

Garak: Come now, Mr.Worf, you're a Klingon! Don't tell me you'd object to a little genocide in the name of self defense!
BrokenLink-Genocide.mp3 (133 kB)

Worf: I am a warrior, not a murderer!
Garak: What you are is a great disappointment.
BrokenLink-WhatWorfIs.mp3 (119 kB)

Garak: Six months in a holding cell, hm? The thought is unattractive, to say the least.
Odo: If you ask me Captain Sisko let you off lightly. Sabotage, assaulting a Federation officer, attempting to incite war between the Federation and the Dominion.
Garak: Yes, but my heart was in the right place.
BrokenLink-SixMonths.mp3 (320 kB)
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